Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
