He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I pour the whiskey from now on
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
