question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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