I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
