I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize