YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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