yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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