Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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