Welp...herpes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
