So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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