Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
