turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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