About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
