that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
