All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize