I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
