Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
