Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
