RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize