literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
