i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
