Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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