I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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