covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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