i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
