Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
