NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
