M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
