i just wanna soil my oats bro
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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