Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
