C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
