after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
