It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
