Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
honey bunches of taint.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
