If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is Oprah even human
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
