This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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