brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
