did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
