at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
