And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My feet surprised me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
