My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
