So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
