We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
