When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
