I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
