I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
