if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
