Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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