Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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