I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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