im drinking this country out of the recession.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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