You're my little dorito
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
