If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize