Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
