I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize