The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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