I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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