we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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