tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
