I showed him my bush... on skype.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
