he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
