"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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