No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
