I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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