guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
