p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
