Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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