Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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